(Oddly enough, I had an opportunity just 36 hours later to put this advice to work. One of the boy's midterm report came back, and the news was, at best, mixed and not what he had led us to believe it would be. Rather than getting angry, as he expected, I sat down with him and we used it as an opportunity to learn. What had been going well, and what had not? Which study methods had been panning out, and which were not working so well for him? Instead of using this as an opportunity to make the kid feel worse- (he was doing a pretty good job all on his own of being disappointed and needed no help on that score from anyone), we chose instead to decide together, with him, what we could do differently that would help him.)

If you get a chance, I urge you to read Jenifer Fox's book, Your Child's Strengths. Give it to teachers you know. We all need to begin to change the tide in education, and part of this change starts with identifying what's good in each person, and finding ways of making them feel successful.